Your adolescent is making decisions that frighten you.
Perhaps you have discovered something in their room, or they are associating with people you do not trust, or they are just a totally different person than they were 6 months ago.
Teenage brains are different; they face pressures that we never faced, and risky behavior is sometimes their coping mechanism with things they cannot describe.
Here is how you can detect the difference between normal teenager behavior and something that, indeed, requires your attention.
What Risky Behavior Really Looks Like
Not every teen’s risky behavior is evident. Although some parents are faced with clear problems, such as substance abuse or violence, numerous red flags are very subtle.
High-risk behaviors:
- Substance use (alcohol, marijuana, prescription drug use, and vaping)
- Dangerous driving or riding with drunken drivers
- Fighting or violence
- Unprotected intercourse or having more than one partner
- Self-harming
- Eating disorders (extreme dieting, binge eating and purging)
Concerning but less obvious signs:
- Dramatic personality changes that last weeks
- Complete withdrawal from family and former friends
- Sudden academic failure after previously doing well
- Being out all night without permission
- Constantly telling lies about whereabouts and activities
- Stealing money or items from home
The major distinction: frequency and intensity.
Exploring or testing limits is, in most teens, an occasional occurrence. If these behaviors worsen then you should take action.
Why Teens Take These Risks
It is much more effective to address the underlying causes instead of punishment alone.
Brain development:
- It is not until the age of 25 that the prefrontal cortex (decision-making center) is fully developed
- Teens are literally unable to evaluate risks as adults do
- Biologically, they are compelled to pursue lively experiences and the approval of their peers
Mental health factors:
- 1 in every 5 teens experiences depression, and it tends to manifest itself as irritability, not sadness
- Teens with anxiety disorders may want to self-medicate through drugs or other risky activities
- Patterns of risky behaviors are usually caused by trauma related to abuse or neglect, or a significant life change
- Impulsive and risky decisions can be the outcomes of undiagnosed ADHD or learning disabilities
A qualified mental health professional can assess the symptoms and the underlying causes.
Environmental pressures:
- Social media creates constant comparison and exposure to inappropriate content
- Academic pressure and college competition are at historic highs
- Economic stress in families affects teen mental health more than many parents realize
- Peer groups that normalize risky behavior make these choices seem acceptable
Identity development:
- Teens are separating from family identity and testing who they want to be
- Risk-taking can feel like a way to gain control in a life where they have little autonomy
- Some teens resort to risky activities in order to deal with a sense of powerlessness or invisibility
Warning Signs You Can’t Ignore
Listen to your gut. When something does not seem right, look into it. The following are the particular changes to watch out for:
Mental health red flags:
- Consistent sadness, despair or anger that last over two weeks
- Severe mood swings that impair day-to-day life
- Comments about wanting to die or not being worth anything
- Loss of interest in all that they liked in former times
- Considerable alterations in sleeping (sleeping 12+ hours or very little sleep)
Physical changes:
- Injuries, burns and cuts without an explanation
- Drastic weight loss or gain
- Bleeding eyes, pupil dilation or drug odor
- Poor hygiene, which has not previously been a concern
- Frequent illnesses and exhaustion
Behavioral shifts:
- New friend group they’re secretive about
- Missing school or failing classes suddenly
- Disappearing for hours without explanation
- Finding drugs, alcohol, or paraphernalia
- Shoplifting
Communication breakdown:
- Avoiding eye contact in conversations
- Violent anger caused by small problems
- Complete shutdown when asked simple questions about their day
- Lying about easily verifiable things
Creating Space for Honest Communication
Your relationship with your teen is your most powerful tool. Here’s how to use it effectively:
Check your reactions first:
- When they say something worrying, slow down before you react
- Note to yourself: Will my response encourage or discourage their likelihood of talking to me in the future?
- Lead with curiosity: “Help me understand what’s going on” instead of “What were you thinking?”
Timing matters:
- Never attempt to have serious discussions when the two of you are angry or stressed out
- Sometimes, car trips, going on a walk, or doing something together are more effective than sitting face-to-face
- Set up periodic check-ups that do not seem like interrogations
Listen differently:
- Ask open-ended questions: “How was that experience for you?” instead of “Did you drink at that party?”
- Do not rush into solutions – sometimes it is good enough that they be heard
Be human:
- Be willing to admit when you do not know something or have acted poorly in a situation
- Also tell them that making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re a bad person
Long-Term Mental Health and Resilience Development
The goal is to help your teen develop skills for lifelong mental wellness.
Strengthen their identity:
- Assist them in establishing their interests, values, and strengths
- Sustain processes that make them feel competent and fit to continue
- Promote volunteer activities or part-time employment to gain confidence
- Embrace their special differences rather than putting them in comparison with others
Teach practical mental health skills:
- Stress reduction methods, such as exercising, or the use of deep breathing and meditation
- The difference between positive and negative expressions of emotions
- The ability to solve problems when faced with a tough situation
- The significance of sleep, nutrition and physical health to mental health
Build a support network:
- Help them maintain friendships with like-minded, good people
- Introduce them to mentors and coaches or other trusted adults
- Encourage them to participate in different programs that will associate them with their peers with shared interests
- Make healthy relationships in your own life
Address mental health proactively:
- Talk openly about mental health as part of overall wellness
- Always normalize getting help when needed
- Watch for early warning signs of depression, anxiety, or other issues
- Regular mental health check-ins may keep minor concerns from growing into larger ones
When Professional Help Is Needed
Some situations require more support than families can provide alone. Don’t wait for a crisis to seek help.
Immediate professional help needed:
- Any mention of suicide or wanting to die
- Self-harm behaviors
- Substance use that’s affecting school, relationships, or health
- Eating disorder behaviors
- Sexual assault or abuse
- Violence toward others
Moving Ahead
The majority of the teenagers involved in risk-taking eventually stop and live healthy and successful lives. Your participation has a major impact on this outcome.
The process of recovery and growth isn’t linear. It will not always go according to plan, and that is fine.
The thing is to stay connected, to get help and not to give up on your relationship with your teenager.
Know that:
- You can not dictate choices made by your teenage child; however, you can nurture through the relationship
- Treatments in mental health are effective; however, they require time
- The present behavior of your teen is not the future
Next steps:
When worried about your teen’s behavior or mental well-being, begin with an honest discussion.
When it does not seem possible or fruitful, think about contacting mental health professionals specializing in adolescents.
What your teen has to feel is that whatever they are experiencing, you will make every effort to understand and support.
Occasionally, that support takes the form of boundaries and consequences.
At times, it appears as treatment.
Reach out to Synergy Behavioral Health today by booking an appointment and meeting with a caringPMHNP.
