You sense when something just isn’t right with your loved one, though you can’t quite put your finger on it.
Maybe your best friend cancelled on you three times in a row. Your brother just looks tired every time you try to talk to him. Your daughter got lower grades, and she says she’s just stressing out.
You want to believe them. You really do. But that concern will not go away.
Substance use builds gradually, and by the time it becomes obvious to everyone, it has already taken root.
The First Things You Notice
It starts small. Really small. Things that seem easy to explain away.
Here’s what often shows up early:
- Bailing on things they used to show up for
- Hobbies they loved? Suddenly don’t care
- Avoiding family stuff without good reasons
- Sleep schedule is all over the place
- Looking like they’re not taking care of themselves
We all have stressors. But when those patterns have been in place for months, when the excuses all start to sound alike, that is when you have to trust what you see.
When Their Personality Starts Changing
This is where things get confusing. A person you may have known for years suddenly seems a different individual.
Their moods don’t match what’s actually happening around them.
You might see:
- Snapping at people over nothing
- Being weirdly secretive about basic stuff
- Mood swings that don’t make sense
- Looking anxious or paranoid when everything’s fine
- Brushing off your concerns like they’re ridiculous
And here’s something else. Money gets tight for them. They’re borrowing from you more. Bills aren’t getting paid. When you ask about it, the answers are always vague.
What Their Body Tells You
Sometimes the physical changes are what finally make it click. You see them and think, when did they start looking like this?
Physical signs include:
- Red, watery, or unfocused eyes
- Weight changing noticeably
- Hands trembling
- Nosebleeds happening a lot
- Talking slower or fumbling words
- Unexplained marks or bruises
- Covering up smells with too much cologne
They’re also getting sick frequently. Headaches. Stomach problems. Always exhausted. Their body’s trying to tell you something.
When Everything Falls Apart
At this point, it’s no longer subtle. You’re watching someone’s life unravel in real time.
Signs things are actually escalating:
- Missing work or school regularly
- Forgetting important stuff they’d never forget before
- Losing their job or dropping out
- Legal problems starting to pile up
- Car accidents or injuries with weird explanations
- Kids, pets, or their place looking neglected
- Hanging out with totally different people
You have, in fact, gone past the phase of early warnings if you are seeing this. This is serious and needs professional help.
What You Can Actually Do
Drug and alcohol abuse are only dealt with effectively through actual treatment and not by tough love.
Speak calmly. Tell them what you’ve seen and be honest, and don’t make angry accusations. Have resources at the ready, but don’t lecture.
Synergy Behavioral Health works with people right where they are.
Whether it’s you who’s struggling or you’re trying to help someone you love, we’ve got you. Get in touch today.
FAQs
What makes me know whether it is a problem or not?
If it is harming their work or relationships, or they’re not healthy, or their substance use is making them use despite not wanting to then it’s most likely an issue.
And what should I do should they tell me that I am overreacting?
That’s common!
- Keep the door open for conversation
- Write down what you’re actually noticing
- Maybe talk to a professional about next steps
